My ablation seems to have already worn off, or whatever ablations do when they aren't helping anymore.... Sitting through class has been a nightmare again, really painful. There's a month of classes left so I know I just have to get through it, it's not like I have a job, at home I'm in bed almost all of the time, and next term I'm not taking classes because of the cervical spinal cord stimulator surgery I need to get done. I was just really sure it would last longer, so it's pretty disheartening and I really can't afford to do another one with how quickly that much pain came back.
On top of it, my physical therapists have decided it's best for me to stop physical therapy for now and revisit treatment after the surgery. It's disappointing, but I understand it. We weren't making any progress on my back, it was an extra expense considering I have no income coming in until the end of the year MAYBE, and every appointment the exercises were aggravating my RSD. The pressure of the water alone was sometimes enough to aggravate it on days it was already bad. I'm just tired of all of this getting worse and never better.
The guy I've been seeing has been really supportive through all this, and he's decidedly optimistic that things will turn around soon. We were talking on the phone the other day and it was practically painful for me to tell him the news of my appointments and ablation wearing off and such, because I wanted so badly to have SOMETHING positive to tell him. Of course he was great about it and made me smile even though I was upset... :) But still, it's hard, because he wants me to get better, it's like the only option he'll accept, but I can't bring myself to remind him that I've had this disorder for 5 years, and it's only ever gotten much much worse. :(
No comments:
Post a Comment